Finding Hope Through Perimenopause and Motherhood

There’s a sweet joy as a new mother – everything is fresh and exciting, each milestone is a moment of wonder as your children grow and change so quickly. I found the same to be true. So too, starting each new endeavor with our children – thinking about schooling, making friends, and developing skills together. But when hormones start to change as a mom, nursing and baby life is over, and life settles into a routine, it can be hard. I am an older mom, not having my boys until I was in my later 30s. So it could be that this doesn’t set in for you, for many years! If so, I’m happy for you. But somewhere in the late 30s-early 50s, most women start to see some shifts in their mind, body and soul. Where can we find the hope we need to press on when our moods shift, nights of insomnia start to add up, hot flashes make us uncomfortable, and our clothes don’t fit the way they used to? I want to share what has helped me over the past few years as I have wrestled with these mid-life changes, and perhaps it will be a blessing to some other women out there as well.

I want to start out by saying that the faithfulness of God throughout the last few years as I’ve journeyed through perimenopause has been immense. With each new symptom, possible solution, or confusing step to take, God has led and guided me with His strong and gentle hand. He will do the same for you, dear sister! Lean into Him, and trust that even when you don’t know what will help, He does. He is even now making the way for you to live into greater joy, fullness and fruitfulness. Even if your journey is bumpy, His word tells us in 1 Peter 5:10, “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”

No matter where you are in your perimenopause journey, the best advice I can give is to educate yourself, but be wise in where you go for help. Instagram influencers don’t necessarily have your best interest in mind. Try a podcast like Hormone Healing RD to get some good base knowledge of how your body is changing. Look for a wellness professional in your area who can guide you through this time and give you some ideas about targeted supplements and lifestyle changes that might help. Talk to older women in your life who you trust and who you feel have aged well. Little by little, you will start to see themes pop up, if you are surrendering all this to God in prayer. Talk to another friend who is going through this same season, and try to support and pray for each other, sharing ideas and resources. Pray with your husband and lean on him, too. Realize that your journey is probably going to be different from those you talk to and learn from, and that’s okay. It’s a walk of faith each day as we continue on this journey, whether it be mind, body or soul needs.

All that said, I would like to share some of what has helped me, in hopes that it would be a blessing to you. I am not a medical or wellness professional, just one woman sharing her journey. There are some supplements that have helped me, and one of them is Vitex. Here is one article that explains what is happening in your body when you take Vitex. It is a very safe herb, and is useful even in younger years for regulating your cycles. This is the one I use. Another supplement that I highly recommend is using a progesterone cream. I started with this brand but now use this one. Ona’s is much more concentrated but I started with the NOW brand to see if it would help. I realized I needed more progesterone, and the Ona’s is cleaner too. I do feel the additional cost is worth it! Let me back up and say that I did do some hormonal testing, but I don’t know that it would have changed any treatments that I have chosen to do. I think if you understand the test, and have some levels that are really far off, it could be helpful. I did not understand the balance between progesterone and estrogen very well when I got mine done. (level of estrogen needs to be balanced with progesterone) Something to read up on! If I had to go back, I might start with hair testing instead. One final thing I use that has been a huge blessing, is a magnesium cream from Earthley Wellness*. I put it on my feet at night and it really helps my sleep. It’s such a relaxing ritual. These three things, the Vitex, progesterone cream, and magnesium cream, have made a huge difference with many of the symptoms I was having previously. Praise God!

Just as important as anything you can take is what you are doing in your lifestyle. How are you eating? Are you getting to bed at a reasonable time? What is your stress level like? How much movement are you getting? I have really enjoyed my LindyWell membership this past year and recommend it to a lot of women. I’m hoping to start working with a nutritionist, but in the meantime have been cutting down on sugar and carbs as much as possible. I don’t believe restrictive diets are good for women (or anyone) especially in mid-life. As I have learned along this journey, a nourishing breakfast, and a healthy protein-rich snack in between meals, is important to keep the metabolism stable. I’m also working on hydrating myself better, and trying to avoid sweet drinks. It’s crazy how sugar can sneak in, through packaged snacks and drinks! None of this is rocket science, but it can be easy to put our needs as mom aside, to care for those around us, and this habit will catch up with you in time. I’ve also dabbled some in the THM meal plan, and hope to do more of that. It has helped me lose a few pounds this year in a moderate and sustainable way, so that’s been encouraging!

Caring for your soul in this process is perhaps the most important. My morning rhythm has had to change some, especially when I haven’t slept as well, but this journal has been a staple for most of the past year, as well as this community of friends. It’s so important to have sisters to walk through life with, and if you don’t have a supportive community of women, start praying that God would provide this, and look to see what your church provides for women. If you need to, start with by having a couple friends over 1-2 times a month and build your own group! Women are searching for friendships at all stages of life, and who knows, someone could need a friend as much as you might. This fall, my husband and I are going to start working through the Bible as a couple using this guide. It’s been on our hearts for a while, so I’m glad we are finally jumping in. I’m doing a two year Bible plan through the Dwell Bible app, but my husband faithfully reads through the entire Bible in one year, and has done this since seminary years. I’m so thankful for his wise leadership in this area and can’t wait to learn more together as a couple. We will also be starting with a local Classical Conversations group, and I’m excited for the ways our family will grow as a result of this.

What about you? Share in the comments about the steps you want to take for the remainder of this year to grow and be present in your own health and wellness. It’s all for the glory of God, so that we can serve Him better in our homes and communities! We need strong and healthy women to make a change in this world. Go out and be a light today!

*This Earthley Wellness link is an affliate link. Using this link will support my blog at no extra cost to you! I have used several things from this company, and have loved them all. You would be supporting that wonderful family as well as ours. Thank you!

The blessing of limitations

As summer turns to fall, the weather cools, and the days shorten, we can start to feel a shift. Perhaps it is the understanding that we won’t have as many lazy summer days – limits on our energy level. Perhaps we need to budget for Christmas – limits on our spending. Perhaps we are busier with kids’ activities – limits on our schedule. What limits are you facing? Is it health related? Are there relational struggles that plague you, either in your family or outside it? Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have limits. It can be humbling to admit. Perhaps this is why so many of us, myself included, can go past our limits in any area. But I’m continuing to learn the blessing of limitations, and want to invite you to share in that.

I have so enjoyed The Nature of Rest, by Eryn Lynum, for a summer read. In this book, I have seen how God designed both nature and humanity to need a regular Sabbath. What happens if we do not honor our own limitations? It can happen slowly, over time, but we will eventually be faced with burn out and frustration. Sadly, many do not realize this until it is hard to make changes, whether it is with spending, health, or another area. But why are limits a blessing? I believe it is because they force us to rely on God’s provision, which is so much more amazing than what we can do in our own strength.

“For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” – Isaiah 30:15 ESV

Over the past few years, I have wrestled with hormonal shifts as I’ve entered mid-life. It has been humbling to say the least, as I’ve experienced many physical and emotional challenges, as well as lost sleep and unpredictable energy levels. But I have found so much mercy and grace from the Lord on this path, and seeing His provision in amazing ways encourages me that He will continue to provide in other areas. But it has also revealed areas of sin in my life, kept me on my knees in prayer, and caused me to stay connected in marriage and with friends. It has inspired regular exercise and time in the Word. It caused me to reach out for community in new ways (love this group, which opens again soon!) It has shown me again, that I cannot do life on my own.

What challenges are you facing? How is facing your limits causing you to rely more deeply on God and others? How can you praise God for his good design in making you the way you are? Share in the comments!

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” – Ephesians 3:20-21 ESV