5 Essential Anchors for Every Mom’s Journey

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It might not seem like it, mama, but you are changing the world. Those small, faithful things you are doing? They are adding up to big things. In this unpredictable world, you are providing a safe haven for young souls, souls that will someday go out and put their mark on the world. There is nothing small about being everything for a young child, nothing insignificant about helping them see that there are good and noble things for which to live. The world is full of broken souls – and you can help build life into a child who will be whole, healthy, and flourishing. What are some anchors that have helped me in my mama journey? Here are just a few…and while they might not be totally new to you, be encouraged that you are doing the right thing by prioritizing them.

Be consistent – Providing rhythms and order for your children is a hard but worthwhile goal to attain to. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but simple things like regular wake times, meals and bedtimes, can go a long way to provide a settledness in their souls. When children know what to expect, they feel like all is well in the world. Posting a simple rhythm chart with what to expect can be helpful to older children, even getting them involved in the plan for the day. Soon they will be able to help with chores and the flow of the day.

Read together – There’s so much research that supports the value of reading together with children – not only are you helping to broaden their vocabulary at a young age, but you are also introducing them to virtue, heroes, big ideas, and friends. And the cuddles are so special! Make a hot drink, pile on cozy blankets, light a candle. These are special times that won’t last forever.

Gather together – Eating meals as a family and with friends teaches so many life skills, largely that life is about more than just me! As we prepare a meal to enjoy together (and involving them is so fun and good!) we are thinking about the needs of others, opening our hearts to each other, and enjoying the blessings God has given us as a family and community. Children learn manners, how to interact socially, how to accept those of different mindsets and value systems, and more.

Simplify – with the holidays coming and the desire to make a special time for your family, it can be hard to not want to do it all. Choosing a few things to focus on, and do well, will go a long way for little people. A frazzled mama is not what they need! Choose a simple advent reading or several picture books, find a couple crafts you all want to try, and make some cookies for a neighbor. In the end, they will remember how you loved them, and if you were a peaceful mama, more than how picture perfect the holiday was.

Find delight in God – Your relationship with our Creator is so much more important than anything else on this list. And yet, as a young mama, it can be hard to carve out the time to be quiet for a few minutes, let alone extended prayer time that you may have had before children. But 10-15 minutes before the children wake, even just sitting up in bed and devoting the day to God, followed by moments throughout the day where you surrender your heart to Him, will truly change the course of your day, weeks, and months. These small moments add up, just as your daily faithfulness to your family does. As I said earlier, you are changing the world, mama. Don’t lose heart in this good work you are doing. We need faithful mamas like you!

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” -Galatians 6:9

The blessing of limitations

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As summer turns to fall, the weather cools, and the days shorten, we can start to feel a shift. Perhaps it is the understanding that we won’t have as many lazy summer days – limits on our energy level. Perhaps we need to budget for Christmas – limits on our spending. Perhaps we are busier with kids’ activities – limits on our schedule. What limits are you facing? Is it health related? Are there relational struggles that plague you, either in your family or outside it? Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have limits. It can be humbling to admit. Perhaps this is why so many of us, myself included, can go past our limits in any area. But I’m continuing to learn the blessing of limitations, and want to invite you to share in that.

I have so enjoyed The Nature of Rest, by Eryn Lynum, for a summer read. In this book, I have seen how God designed both nature and humanity to need a regular Sabbath. What happens if we do not honor our own limitations? It can happen slowly, over time, but we will eventually be faced with burn out and frustration. Sadly, many do not realize this until it is hard to make changes, whether it is with spending, health, or another area. But why are limits a blessing? I believe it is because they force us to rely on God’s provision, which is so much more amazing than what we can do in our own strength.

“For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” – Isaiah 30:15 ESV

Over the past few years, I have wrestled with hormonal shifts as I’ve entered mid-life. It has been humbling to say the least, as I’ve experienced many physical and emotional challenges, as well as lost sleep and unpredictable energy levels. But I have found so much mercy and grace from the Lord on this path, and seeing His provision in amazing ways encourages me that He will continue to provide in other areas. But it has also revealed areas of sin in my life, kept me on my knees in prayer, and caused me to stay connected in marriage and with friends. It has inspired regular exercise and time in the Word. It caused me to reach out for community in new ways (love this group, which opens again soon!) It has shown me again, that I cannot do life on my own.

What challenges are you facing? How is facing your limits causing you to rely more deeply on God and others? How can you praise God for his good design in making you the way you are? Share in the comments!

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” – Ephesians 3:20-21 ESV

When rest is elusive – and some ideas to help

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What a lovely several months it has been since I last sat down to write and converse with you all. Our boys have finished another school year, we made it through multiple holidays with joy, and the summer is upon us! How is your summer going? Is it full of lazy and relaxing days, or is the pace too much? I find myself somewhere in between. We have had very busy weeks lately, punctuated with days of rest as we are able to squeeze them in. But I find that the Lord always provides what we need.

This summer I am reading several good books, and I find that to be such a welcome respite when my mind and calendar can threaten to overwhelm me. (Scroll to the bottom to see the complete list of what I am reading/ have finished lately)…One book in particular, The Nature of Rest, by Eryn Lynum, has been encouraging to discuss with friends, as we all seek to live in a Sabbath mindset. From hummingbirds and fairy shrimp, to the rhythms of the sun and moon, we have found that God is all around us if we take a moment to abide in him, particularly by enjoying his handiwork in creation. How are you spending the quiet moments of your day? Here are a few other ways I am squeezing in some “Sabbath moments” as I go. (These are not affiliate links…)

LindyWell Pilates has been such a blessing to me, as well as short morning walks. I find that even 15-20 min of moving my body reaps great dividends.

Dwell Audio Bible – the short daily devotion is so good for a mid-morning pick me up! I usually try to read a little more of a lengthy devo in the early mornings, but when I didn’t sleep well, and the kids wake before I do, listening to this together over breakfast is such a good thing too.

Verse card affirmations – I have a few different pretty verse cards to look over, but a free one from Ann Voskamp is a favorite. I have been writing the full verses out on the back and popping these in my purse or by my morning reading chair to go over.

Daily pauses – John Eldredge has a great app for this, but sneaking quiet moments throughout the day in a closet, popping out on the patio for a few minutes while the boys rest in the afternoon, or by the kitchen sink is such a treat. Connecting with the Father is always the best part(s) of my day!

Day one app – I have kept up with this for several years, though not as much as I’d like this past year. However, I do try to record my thoughts and a few pictures several times a month. Daily would be even better! Keeping track regularly of my gratitude is life-changing and set the stage for a healthy marriage for us.

Family Life radio – This has been such a gift to me in my quest to be on my phone less! We have an old Tivoli radio, and thankfully a local Family life station that I can enjoy while I work in the kitchen.

As promised, my list of books:

-The Meaning of Marriage

-Switch on Your Brain

-Count the Night by Stars (finished this quickly, as it was sooo good!)

-Discipline that Connects with Your Child’s Heart

-Just Mercy

-At Home in Mitford (another fiction book I’m enjoying before bed)

What I’m reading with the kids:

-The Green Ember

-The Railway Children

-Genesis : Herein is Love, vol.1 – by Nancy Ganz

Have a great day in the Lord!

Abide with Me – a call to rest

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Time has marched on, and I find myself here again, with a few quiet moments to reflect. It’s amazing how fast time flies. It’s a very full time of year, as the calendar turns to September, and school schedules and fall activities kick into gear. Yet, I find myself with a relatively quiet schedule ahead. It is much needed. I’ve prayed for this season and sensed it would come in time. Many of us have seen major shifts in our lives in the post-COVID years, and I am no different. It’s taken a toll on all of us, probably for you as well. Yet, I am surprised and discouraged to see that most everywhere, life keeps buzzing on at full speed.

I’ll share a quick example. Lately, I’ve been really focusing on listening better and asking questions to our boys when conflict arises at home. One of us pulls them into our lap (this won’t last forever, so we are trying to enjoy it while we can!), and asks, “What’s going on? What are you feeling right now? Can you tell me what just happened?” As they speak with often tear-stained faces, I sense the love of the Father who does the same for me. So, let me speak tenderly here in this space, hopefully with the love of the Father coming from my words. I don’t know that I’m an authority on this topic in any way, but I have learned some things the hard way. I have pushed myself too hard and faced difficult consequences. But I am still learning, still trying to lean into my Father and learn from Him and wiser men and women who have gone before us.

Can I whisper into the crazy-busy schedules I see around me, “What’s going on?” I hear how families rarely have dinner together, how we are running from one activity to the next, how we don’t have time for basic self-care needs like sleep and exercise to be met. I can only assess what is going on in my own heart when my life starts spinning out of control, because I have certainly been there. I won’t make quick judgements from the other side of a screen. This season of rest has seemed almost mandatory for me, however. I have faced some health issues in the last couple of years off and on, and though not critical, they have made normal life quite difficult at times. But do we have to wait until that is the case in our lives before we slow down?

I’d like to offer a simple challenge and encouragement here, as the school year begins, to carve out some time with the Lord and a trusted friend or spouse, to ask some hard questions. Why are we all so busy? Is all we are doing really necessary? Is there really no way to find some margin on our calendars? Walk with Jesus a while through the New Testament and see how he ordered his life. He had regular seasons of both full days and quiet times away. And He always held situations up to His Father for approval. I have to ask myself, “am I doing that?” It can be so hard as a busy homeschooling mom and pastor’s wife to find 20 minutes of quiet in the day to be alone with God. I still do fight for that time, and some days it is longer or shorter, but I’m finding moments as I go through the day to be just as profitable for my soul. The truth is, Our Daddy will find us if we are seeking Him, no matter the time of day, no matter how long or short we have to call out to Him.

I want to leave you with a permission slip to rest. Remember (for those of us who attended a brick-and-mortar school) those coveted “hall passes?” It can be hard to pull away from activities that seem expected, what may feel like an obligation, or even good things that would be hard to let go of. Very few of us can step away completely from things that weigh down our schedules, things that perhaps we can’t let go of. We all still have meals to prepare, dishes and laundry to do. But I suspect that somewhere on your calendar, there is a place your Father could be highlighting in this next season, a place that could be His. It could be a new creative endeavor that would feed your soul, starting a regular date night or night with friends, a new prayer habit, or simply time to go on a daily walk. The Lord calls us all to abide in Him, to lay aside the cares of the world as we are able, and draw near. Praying we all can take some small steps in that direction for our own good, for the sake of our families, but most of all because we serve a gracious Father who died so that we could be free.

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me… These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” John 15: 4, 11

The God Who Sees

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Tomatoes in October – a sign of life amidst death

I’ve thought many times in the last couple of years what I might have to say in the cacophony that has become the online world. I have some posts that were started and stopped – trying to manage two kids, ministry, and homeschooling has been harder than I expected. And with so much brokenness in the world at large, this state of confusion and despair can threaten to find its way into our own personal spheres of faith, family, work and friendship. Yet I feel so much hope. It’s in this knowledge that we are “seen” by God that I am finding new strength. I hope as we “sit together” here in this space, we can rest in the love our Father has for us.

Recently I have been mulling over a passage from Genesis 16:13, Hagar’s encounter with “El-Roi – The God Who Sees.” Hagar is in a no-win situation. Having been given to her mistress’ husband Abram, in hopes to gain them a child, she becomes an object of contempt and flees from the harsh treatment. Doesn’t life feel this way at times? Have you ever been in a no-win situation? And yet, God gives her a child and promises to bless her, to “multiply her offspring so that they cannot be numbered.” (Gen. 16:10) Maybe there are promises waiting for us too, in the midst of our pain. Are we looking for them…?

What hard situation are you facing, wondering where God is and what he has planned for you? It’s so easy to look for relief, or distraction, rather than to seek the face of God. I can fall prey to this, just as anyone can. Lately though, God has granted grace to help me believe He will be faithful in the hard; he’s helped me to praise Him as I wait, knowing He will redeem the pain and bring fruitfulness in time. But there can be roadblocks, brokenness, and bitterness – issues that need to be dealt with. I’m asking God to show me areas where I need to repent so I can be refreshed by His grace again, and He has been faithful to do that. Take time to sit with the Lord and be renewed in this way. He will answer.

In our backyard, there is a small Japanese maple tree with two dying limbs (that are still great for climbing) and two that are alive and well. So much of life can be this way – the healthy and the dying right next to each other. It’s when we sit alone with God or a trusted friend that we can begin to parse out what path we are to take to live whole and healthy lives in the midst of the pain all around us. Hagar was blessed with a promise that she could cling to, even as she suffered great pain. Are our hearts looking for the promises of God that we can cling to? We find this encouragement in the Passion translation: “The way I love you is like the way a servant wants to please his master, the way a maid waits for the orders of her mistress. We look to you, our God, with passionate longing to please you and discover more of your mercy and grace.” – Psalm 123:2

Until our Savior returns, joy and pain will be wrapped up together. There’s no escaping it. But when we look for God at work, when we ask Him to show up in specific ways, and lean into the pain, rather than avoiding it, we will find fruit even as the world feels like it’s falling apart around us.

Watch Nicole C. Mullen – The God Who Sees video here for further encouragement on this topic.

Enjoying a beautiful fall day

Reflections on a long year, mixed emotions and a table prepared by God

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It’s been quite a year, hasn’t it? As this year draws to a close, I’d be remiss not to reflect on all God has done for us. Bigger kiddos, a new home, and a busy summer schedule, followed by a hard adjustment to school for all of us – well, writing for an audience had to take the back burner. I’ve been showing up for three people who need me, while trying to keep my own tank full, and as you know, that can be quite the challenge. But I regret staying away so long. Partially out of fear that I’d say the wrong thing, in the midst of so many hostile opinions online and on social feeds, I’ve stayed back and watched, thought, and prayed about my role in all of it. I still don’t have a lot of new or fancy answers – no, I’m still gonna keep drawing from the Well of New Life, in hopes that it will spill out into your life, bringing joy and hope to press on.

I’m curious where you find yourself – in your heart, your home, and with your people. What’s going on in your soul? Are you tired, refreshed, excited – or just DONE and ready for a new season? Thinking back on what we’ve collectively survived this last year and a half – well, I’m sure there’s an element of all those things rolling around inside of you. How was the conversation around your Thanksgiving table, and how is your inner conversation? Is there understanding, or strife? I have to admit, I’m wrestling through some of my own internal conflict – following months of external conflict. The pandemic certainly has raised some difficulty for all of us, and being in ministry, well, it’s not entirely different for us either. But I’m finding a deeper and renewed hope in God through His Word, and that is so exciting to me. You’d think that knowing and following God for 30+ years would mean that all of this is old hat? Well, no, not at all! Prayer is the language of my heart, but studying the Word has been a challenge that I have wrestled through. Being married to a seminary grad and pastor doesn’t take away all that struggle – no, I need to invest the time and energy into seeking God through his Word daily. Having two kids 5 and under certainly means I have to get creative, but our recent women’s study on 2 Corinthians was such a joy and I’m thrilled to be looking forward to another deep study coming in a few weeks with dear friends. This set from my beloved for an early Christmas present is also quite exciting as I attempt to make progress on a life goal of studying every book of the Bible in depth. I have a long way to go! But I hope to leave a legacy of words that God has spoken to me personally as I study in this way. What goals are you considering as you look towards the new year? Can you ask God to impress something small, that could grow with you as you age? I have found that there are not many “quick fixes” in life!

Finally, may I leave with you an encouragement as you prepare your hearts and homes for the upcoming Christmas holiday. This time of year can bring such mixed emotions; I know this all too well. This weekend marks the anniversary of my miscarriage, and it will always be a tender spot for me. Seven years ago, we were searching for ministry jobs, had moved cross-country, lost Paul’s mother, and with a positive pregnancy test, we finally thought there would be some happy news. Two days later, I walked through an ectopic pregnancy that meant saying goodbye to our first child, Shiloh Rae, at five weeks gestation. It was a rough time. That Christmas was terrible in some ways, but there was hope. How, you might ask? Immanuel, God was with us. There was a deep peace that transcended all the despair we were feeling. I don’t remember what questions we asked God, but there was a deep knowledge that God was good and still in control, as we were surrounded and uplifted by the prayers of many. Perhaps this week you can set aside your long list of to-dos and find a quiet place to reflect on all God is doing and has done – in the dark times and the good times. We were so fortunate to study the life of Joseph together, and encouraged by the pastors to do just this! It brings such hope to look back – and remember. (All of the series is good, but “The Big Picture” sermon was my hubby ;-))

I sat with my Bible earlier today and as I meditated on Psalm 23, I realized that we mamas aren’t the only ones preparing tables this holiday. No, our Beloved Savior is preparing a table for us in the presence of our enemies. So as the weariness of the holidays creeps in, and perhaps you are lonely, or sad, or exhausted, may we find rest at the table we have in His presence. The Father God invites us, and the Holy Spirit indwells us, as we sit together around his Word, with His people, in worship of the Son. May you know that peace today.

When despair comes knocking on your door

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Will you open the door to Hope?

Image by Dimitris Vetsikas from Pixabay

It’s been hard to find words lately. It’s not that I don’t have opinions, because I do, but I haven’t felt the need to say them out loud above the noise that is life right now. A friend recently told me that her political platform is “listening” and I just had to smile inside. I can get on board with that, sister. I look all around, I lay awake at night, and I wonder where life is going. Not just my life, but the world and the church and all of it. You won’t be shocked to know that I’ve had some very discouraging days these past few months – we all have. But perhaps you will be surprised to know that I’m finding Hope in the midst of all the sadness.

You see, I’m no stranger to Despair. He’s an old friend that has tricked me in the past. I used to let him right into my living room, we had tea together, and we traveled a lot of road together. There have been seasons where I wanted Despair to leave, and I just couldn’t kick him out. Other seasons, I have enlisted friends and a host of resources, and together, we kicked him out and cleaned up the room. But now I see him for the Enemy that he is. It’s hard to hope when Despair keeps knocking. He’s tricky, you see. Sometimes he sneaks in the window, or comes in with the mail. He takes any form he can to weasel his way into your life. At first, he looks flashy and inviting, but he always leads to misery and despair in the end. Hope, on the other hand, is slow, hard work.

Hope is my closest friend now. You can’t remain lifeless and keep company with Hope. He doesn’t have unreasonable expectations, but there is certainly work to do. Some of it is interior soul work, and some of it is practical, get-out-and-help-someone work. Some of it is cleaning up my own messes, like stacks of paper that never seems to go away. It’s hard, but Hope stays right there with me and helps me press on. Hope is willing to go anywhere, with anyone who will open the door. Sometimes He invades lives in terribly dark times, and I’m praying that He will do that in the weeks and months to come. Other times, he sits outside and waits to be invited in. Perhaps that will happen as well.

Hope is not found in any political platform, miracle vaccine, new job, healed relationship, or earthly inheritance. It is found in the person and work of Jesus Christ. That is where I am staking all my hope these days, and I’m bringing anyone who will come with me. You are welcome here, friends. Hope is calling your name.

Further encouragement: Podcast with Max Lucado (on his new book, and being willing to hope)

Why your soul matters in this crazy world

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happiness-824419_1280It’s been a brutal year for many of us so far, and if you’re nodding your head right now, I’m guessing it could be any number of things. Perhaps you’re exhausted from weeks and months quarantined at home and you feel like you can’t do another day with masks, small children and up-tine messes to clean up (again). It can feel small and insignificant. Maybe you’ve lost a job and you feel hopeless that another one will open up before your bills catch up with you. Does God see what you need? Does he even care? I’ve asked those questions before. Maybe you’re heartbroken at the state of our country, between financial devastation to the economy, your hope for the future (and your kids’ futures), the reality of racial injustice, and confusion over how to help or respond. Me too.

It’s okay to be sad. Or angry. Or confused. Or all of above. But we don’t have to stay there. Grieve…and get back up. But how?

I’m reminding myself again that I have to put my soul care high on my priority list. Let me remind you as I remind myself that’s it not wrong to rest, regroup, and look up, so that we can find the strength to reach out to a broken and hurting world. So that we can deal with the brokenness in our own hearts and lives. In fact, there’s no other way we can find lasting hope and answers without that. Want some ideas? Perhaps some reminders will encourage you.

Have you shared your hurts with a friend?

Could you find even a few minutes to sit alone with God?

Are you engaging with good friends who love you and care about what is happening?

Are you letting go of the past (when the time is right) and getting back up?

Can you let go of self-pity or a victim mindset and instead rely on the One who gives us power and strength?

Are you turning off your screens so your soul can rest and renew?

What about a good fiction book and a change of scenery?

Can you hire some help at home with kids, cleaning or both?

It sometimes seems more holy to say “pray more,” or “read your Bible” or “go to church.” And of course those things are MOST important as followers of Christ, beloved children of the Most High God. But God knows that we get “stuck” and need some unique reminders of his love in the midst of this hard world. It’s okay to admit if you need some rest and rejuvenation. I’m working on that for me and my family also. Please post in the comments what is helping you to thrive and not just survive! Much love, friends. It’s been said so many places, but we’re in this together. Look in, reach up, and then you can reach out. May the God of peace, hope and joy be yours in abundance today.

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Soul care for the everyday mama

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Hello friends…

Now that the winter is in full swing and we’ve made it through the busy holiday season as a ministry family, I’m ready to take a few moments to encourage you, my readers. My sweet little boys are getting to a fun age where they can play more independently, and also play together at least long enough for me to take a shower. That’s what is also known as a #momwin! 😉

I have been reflecting on and talking to friends about the struggle I’ve found in prioritizing soul care as a busy mom of littles. It was/is a huge passion of mine, that motivated me to start this blog in the first place (soul care in general), but I have found it increasingly difficult to squeeze out time to care for my own body, mind, and soul in the midst of ministry, managing a home, and caring for my little boys. It’s so easy to focus on “good” things, and let the “best” things slide. You too?

All that said, I think I have come to realize that I want to re-boot this blog to a new focus just for Moms, focusing on realistic soul care, and my own journey to accomplish that. Sort of an accountability for me to keep at it, but also because I love writing and encouraging others, women and moms in particular. Both writing and soul care are two big goals for me this year, and in order to reach my goals for other areas in my life, I know I need to take care of myself, and fan into flame what He has given me to share with others (2 Timothy 1:6).

How about you? Are you finding ways to care for your soul this year? Are your goals for 2020 “God goals” or are you resting in your own strength to carry them out? What do you think of my new blog focus, “Soul Care for the Everyday Mama?”

Soul care tip to try: What can you eliminate from your schedule this week? Most of us are over-scheduled and could use a little break- some margin in your day or week to take care of yourself, connect with God and connect with your “people.” Post in the comments what you tried or have in mind!

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Turning the page and living in grace (a few lessons from my thirties)

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Welcome again to my little blogging world, that has been silent for several months as I have learned more about little boys, ministry and marriage. 🙂 I’d like to find some words to process this new season that I’m moving into. It’s a funny business getting older. I can’t say I dislike it, because God has been gracious to bless and grow me along every stage, but there are certainly surprises! Getting married in my early thirties and having kids in my mid-late thirties is a little different the “norm.” Do I regret it? Of course not. Has it had challenges? Yes! But with it too has (hopefully) come some wisdom and grace for a season that we may not have had otherwise. What I’d like to do here is share some of the amazing lessons God has taught me in my thirties, kids or not. Because the Story of Grace has similar lessons no matter what our demographic!

Repent, rest, live grateful – I wonder if I will ever move on from this repeated lesson? Most of my last decade was spent on this topic! Isaiah 30:15 has been my battle cry: “This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. (But you would have none of it.)” When I feel confused or disoriented, unsure of my next step, God often brings me back to this theme. It really is a welcome relief to “hear” God speak this to my heart – don’t forget me child; lay it all down; let go of your plans; rest. And then it comes next – repent of your discontent, and focus on gratitude. I’m less likely now to be frustrated, but instead find this to be a warm, safe hug from my Father. It’s a familiar, refreshing place, and I’d bet you will find safety there too. Give it a try?

Lock arms with others – Finding safe people has been a journey for me, and God has been faithful to create community for me wherever we have gone! Looking for “your people” is worth it. And the advice of Anne Marie Miller (while I don’t agree with all her writings) has been spot on here – be willing to go first! When I open up my heart and share vulnerably, inevitably there is someone there who will resonate with my struggle, and appreciate the chance to “go second.” Of course there is much prayer this leads up to these moments, and that continues as every relationship unfolds, but if we always “stay safe” in our relationships, how can anyone grow? Hebrews 10:25: “not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

Laugh and lighten up – Wow, thank goodness for kids! Before I was a mom, I was a teacher, and before that I did lots of camp ministry, so I’ve been blessed with lots of hilarious kid moments! But it’s obvious that God has a sense of humor – silly looking animals and plants, quirky people, and our own mistakes to laugh at a grow from. My “men” help lighten up my sometimes melancholy nature, and I am so very grateful! See also Nehemiah 8:10 – the original word for strength here is “refuge” or “stronghold.” Amazing! Not only are joy and laughter enjoyable, the fruit is a place of safety.

Stay in the Word – I am not the student of the Word that others are, but I have resolved to keep at it! Don’t get me wrong, I love love love the Word of God, but I can have a bent towards being a bit of an “emotional reader.” I know this is common for women, but I want to keep growing and using my mind to study, not just my intuition. Thankful for those who are gifted in this area and push me to grow! I can see how over the past decade, the more I have become “grounded” in the word, the more fruit I have seen in my life and I’m confident there is a correlation.  May I commend to you Jennie Allen’s studies? I have done both the Anything book and now I’m working through the Proven study and both have been excellent!! I also love Jen Wilkin to stretch me!

Pray and keep praying – I’m eternally grateful for my rich heritage of prayer warriors! My parents and grandparents have set an amazing example in this regard. I have always been able to ask them for prayer (though my grandparents are gone now) and find it such a comfort to know they are fighting in the heavenly realms for my good and His glory. Paul and I have been through some pretty heavy stuff in our marriage as I have written about elsewhere – but prayer has sustained us – our own and the prayers of others. I’ve always sought out praying friends as well, and this has been such a life-saver! Literally!! There aren’t words enough to thank God for making a way for us to have this intimate communication with Him!

Christ is the way forward – Similar to the theme of repentance and rest is this. Leaning into the service and sacrifice of Christ and applying that to my whole life, every task and relationship – this. changes. everything! I’ve been reading and studying the book of John, and chapter 13 has been soaking into my marrow. Jesus knew what he was called to and he moved into it. He didn’t shrink back but fully surrendered to the will of the Father, even to the point of death. How often have I stepped back to protect myself? Thankfully, Jesus never did this. May my next decade be a testimony of this radical service.

Live loved – This is the fruit. The fruit of so many hard-won lessons. As I have repented, prayed, studied, served, laughed, all of the above – you know what? I’ve come to realize in such a deep way that I am LOVED! God has called me live as the beloved daughter I am, and when I do, not only am I blessed, but many others are as well! The enemy of our souls wants nothing more than to convince us that God is against us – that he is holding out and keeping good things from us. Nothing could be further from the truth! In all the hard and bad and sad, there is ALWAYS a purpose. Trust me, I have been through it. It probably didn’t look exactly like your “hard,” but we could cry together and find common ground, I’m sure. Through all the hardships, when my soul heals and I grow and find my way back to trusting and leaning into God, the fruit is this. I am known and loved. I am protected. I am safe. I CAN trust him. And you can, too.